Gooden Center
A residential drug treatment center for men located in Pasadena, CA. The Gooden Center is a proud member of the National Association of Addiction Treatment Providers (NAATP).

(626) 356-0078
191 North El Molino Avenue Pasadena, CA 91101 US

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Posts Tagged ‘intervention’

Alcoholism and Ultimatums

Posted on: November 10th, 2018 by The Gooden Center No Comments

Alcoholism and Ultimatums

When you are dealing with someone close to you who has a drinking problem it can be frustrating and painful knowing that you can’t stop their behavior. You might feel tempted to try to control the situation by giving them an ultimatum– “stop drinking or our relationship is over”. You need to be cautious about giving loved ones an ultimatum because addiction is complex and it can be hard to tell whether it will be effective in changing the situation.

Although it may feel like the right thing to ask an alcoholic to choose either you or drinking because you have had enough of their actions, it is important to understand that your demands may not be as realistic as you think. When a person is physically and mentally addicted to alcohol, their drinking behavior may be beyond their own control. They might try to quit at least temporarily to appease you or avoid the consequences of your ultimatum but it may not last permanently.

Ultimatums may not always be the best solution because it is impossible to control another person’s decisions and actions, especially an alcoholic. If your goal is to get a person to stop drinking then an intervention is usually the format that tends to get better results. The key is to help them realize for themselves how much their drinking affects others so that they make the choice to get help.

Quitting an addiction often requires the addict to come to the realization on their own that they need help. An ultimatum may only be useful if you want to give yourself space or improve your family life by staying away from addictive behavior. It is a legitimate choice to end a relationship because you are frustrated with a person’s addiction, but getting them to permanently change will require a more serious intervention.

Aggression and Alcoholism

Posted on: October 18th, 2018 by The Gooden Center No Comments

Aggression and Alcoholism

People all react to alcohol differently and may exhibit unique behavior when they are intoxicated. However, there is a very strong correlation between alcohol and aggression or even in some cases violent behavior. Some individuals may be more likely to become aggressive than others but in general the majority of aggressive acts committed tend to involve alcohol.

Aggression most often occurs in men who have trait anger or who tend to be angry more often than others. People with less anger management will start to become aggressive when they drink alcohol. This is because alcohol tends to bring out a person’s natural tendencies toward anger or aggression.

Alcohol causes people to express their anger more frequently and aggressively so that they have a heightened response when provoked. In cases of alcoholism, the relationship between anger and intoxication can become more severe as their drinking escalates. A person with angry tendencies who develops an addiction to alcohol may lose their ability to control their aggressive behavior.

When an alcoholic becomes aggressive it can be very problematic especially in familial or  intimate relationships.  Alcoholism and domestic violence are also strongly linked in many cases especially when anger issues are untreated.

If someone has a tendency to become angry easily then consuming alcohol can be very dangerous for them and the people around them. It is important for alcoholics with aggressive behavior to get treatment so that they can learn to cope with their anger in more healthy  and constructive ways. If you know someone who becomes aggressive when they drink then it might be a good idea to stage an intervention so that you can prevent any further harm from taking place.

 

My Loved One Avoids Me if I Bring Up Treatment

Posted on: September 24th, 2018 by The Gooden Center No Comments

My Loved One Avoids Me if I Bring Up Treatment

When you know someone needs help for an addiction but you find it hard to discuss it with them it can become a problem. Sometimes addicts are still deep in denial even when everyone around them can see that they are going down a dangerous path. If your loved one avoids you when you discuss their addiction with them, it could be that they refuse to recognize that they have a problem.

The important thing to understand about a person’s addiction is that it is an illness that can control how they think and behave. Their decision to avoid you has nothing to do with you but is a reflection of how their substance abuse has taken over their mind. Although it may be difficult to witness they are now wired to do everything they can to keep using drugs.

A good strategy to take is to avoid enabling this person and set limits on your relationship with them. If they ask for money, comfort or a place to stay following a binge then you should keep boundaries with them so you aren’t helping them continue their behavior. Telling someone they need treatment and then doing something to enable them is a way of sending mixed signals.

If you have tried speaking to someone one on one about their addiction they are not responsive then might be time to stage an intervention. Try to gather as many friends, family and loved ones who are concerned about the addict and organize a time and place when you can discuss the problem with them. An intervention is often the most effective way to reach someone with an addiction because they see that everyone is in agreement that they have a problem and are more likely to choose to get help.

Parents Supporting Their Child’s Addiction Lifestyle

Posted on: July 14th, 2018 by The Gooden Center No Comments

Parents Supporting Their Child’s Addiction Lifestyle

Family dynamics can be very complex especially when a child has any type of dependency on drugs or alcohol. Parents may not know how to cope with the situation and can end up enabling their child whether they are aware of it or not. Their love for their children and desire to be there for them can sometimes cloud their judgement and they end up supporting their child’s addiction in various ways.

An adult child may call their parents any time they end up in trouble and need financial help. Parents may end up lending an addicted child money for rent or paying for things that they can’t afford due to the amount of money that they spend on drugs. Some parents can’t help but come to the rescue for the children even though it is a way of enabling their addiction.

Parents might struggle with the type of “tough love” approach that is sometimes necessary when a child is behaving unfavorably. Instead of letting them experience the consequences of their actions they instead step in to soften the blow and make sure that their child is okay. Although it is important to always love and care for your child, there is a difference between helping them and enabling them.

Aside from allowing children to experience the negative consequences of their addiction, also talking to them about getting treatment can be one of the best solutions. For those that truly care about their child’s well-being it is essential to make sure that they get the professional help necessary to overcome their addiction. Talking to them one on one or setting up an intervention is the best that a parent can do for their loved one.

If your child has an addiction, research treatment centers that can accommodate them and talk to them about getting help as soon as possible.

Intervention Letter Writing 101

Posted on: February 25th, 2018 by The Gooden Center No Comments

Intervention Letter Writing 101

There are a lot of complex emotions and interactions that can take place during an intervention for drug and alcohol addiction. In order to minimize some of the intensity and organize thoughts or feelings it can be helpful to have those involved in the intervention write a letter. This letter will give them time to reflect on their experience of this person’s addiction and decide in advance what they want to say to them.

There are several steps involved in putting together an intervention and writing a letter is part of the preparation and planning of the gathering. Once a certain group of concerned family members and friends decide that they want to confront or talk to someone about their addiction then they need to figure out how to address it. If each member of the group writes a letter before the intervention takes place it can prevent any unplanned conflict or heated discussions that could derail the event.

Interventions can be unpredictable so it is important to have the meeting planned as carefully as possible. If things happen too spontaneously it can lead to problems and cause the addict to distance themselves from loved ones, going further into their addiction. Having prepared statements in the form of letters helps everyone feel mentally prepared and allows them to avoid saying something they will later regret.

Understanding the Purpose of the Letter

Before getting started on writing a letter to read during an intervention, it is important to consider why the letter matters and what it will help to accomplish. The letter is helpful for both the addict who is being spoken to and the person reading the letter because it allows everyone to stay grounded and focused. Reading letters will keep everyone on track so that the intervention doesn’t stray from the original purpose of expressing feelings of concern.

Letters have a tone that reflects a more relaxed state of mind that a person has when they are writing and tapping into deeper feelings. The tone is less likely to sound accusatory and angry but instead more supportive and positive. People at the intervention will also be less likely to feel confused about their feelings or blank out and not know what to say.

In the preparation for the intervention, the group can also use the letters as a way to rehearse the whole event and practice reading them. They can receive feedback from other members of the group and possibly edit the letters if there is anything that needs changing. That way everyone can agree on what should be said at the intervention and the best strategy and overall tone that will get the addict into treatment.

How to Write a Letter

The process of writing an intervention can be cathartic for people who have been witnessing a loved one abuse drugs. It is a chance for them to reflect on how the drug abuse affects them and everyone involved. It also gives the writer time to consider how they feel and how the addict might be feeling as well.

An important aspect of writing an intervention letter is to allow yourself to feel compassion for the addict and think about what it is about their behavior that truly bothers you. While you are brainstorming an intervention letter, put yourself in the addict’s shoes and reflect on what they must be going through. Even though you might have some feelings of resentment or anger, try to focus more on the pain that they must feel.

While there are many different ways to write an intervention letter, it is a good idea to read it over and make sure that the overall tone is loving and compassionate. Your message should be that you love this person in spite of what they’ve done and you want them to get healthy because you care about them. Being loving but non-confrontational is the key to writing an effective intervention letter.

You can always include personal feelings about the loved one, talk about your relationship and the times they have been there for you. Starting off on a positive note can help prevent the loved one from becoming defensive right away or from feeling attacked. They will understand that the intervention is more about love and care rather than anger or disappointment.

The rest of the letter can include some specific examples of how their addiction affected you and discuss your desire for them to get help. The ultimate goal of the intervention is to persuade this person that they need to enter a treatment center. Each letter should include a statement discussing the desire of everyone for the addict to enter rehab.

An intervention can go much more smoothly if everyone writes a well-thought out letter reflecting their feelings. Look for examples of other intervention letters to give you an idea of what to write and you can work on it with the help of other family and friends.