Dealing With Self-Loathing

Feelings of self-loathing can sabotage relationships because one person may feel that they are not “good enough” to be with other people. Those who cope with self-loathing can sometimes become isolated because they see so many negative qualities in themselves and assume that others will eventually see them. Someone who is hyper-aware of their limitations or perceived flaws can never be convinced of their worth unless they confront the cause of their self-loathing.

It can be difficult for people with self-esteem issues to build up confidence since compliments from others might have very little effect. A good tactic for people with self-loathing issues is to try to acknowledge that they might not know themselves as well as they believe. Although they might feel that they see and understand all of their own flaws, the reality is that the way they perceive themselves is often very inaccurate.

If someone who is a self-loather can learn to understand that the way they see themselves is not necessarily the “right” way then it opens up the possibility that they might not be as flawed as they think. They might see themselves as boring, worthless or untalented but others might see them as interesting and fun. Considering other people’s perspectives can help break down some of the deeply ingrained beliefs that affect their self-esteem.

People with self-loathing issues can also work on accepting praise from others and recognizing the ways in which they are supported and loved. Other people in their lives see their value and if they are able to understand that then it can start to change their perception of themselves. With time they can start to see their own positive qualities and allow themselves more self-care.

Self-loathing is a complex problem, but it is possible to reduce feelings of self-hatred through therapy and changing perspectives.