Broaching the subject of poor mental health can be difficult. Many of us are taught to be ashamed or to hide mental health problems. That’s especially true if you’re male. But talking about your mental health is one of the first steps to getting help. It can open doors for building habits and routines that work for your mental health problems. Talking about your mental health can help you to get clarity and insight into your problems. It can help you to feel less alone. And, most importantly, it can be the first step to seeking professional help if you need it.
Unfortunately, that’s a lot easier said than done. Talking about your mental health means setting aside time to do so. It means figuring out how to talk about it. And, it means examining how you feel, without judgement, and simply assessing how you are and where you are. All of this can be incredibly difficult. But it’s an important step in moving towards feeling better.
These tips for talking about your mental health should be a good place to start.
Start with Research
You don’t have to spend weeks or months on research, but it’s a good idea to look some things up. You can also consider finding and buying a book or utilizing other research when you start your talk. However, research is also important to yourself. For example, many of us lack what is known as a “Mental health vocabulary”. This is especially true with men. You might not have the right words to describe how you feel. Spending some time researching online might help you to better understand how to use words to share how you feel. If you feel something is especially relevant, you can bookmark it and show it during the conversation.
- How do you feel? What do reputable websites like WebMD say about this?
- What can you bring to share during the conversation?
It’s important not to self-diagnose. Many mental health disorders overlap. Additionally, mental health disorders can overlap with physical health problems such as vitamin deficiencies and thyroid disorders. Always go to see a doctor. However, you can choose to go to see a doctor after you talk to a loved one and ask for help.
Remember It’s Okay to Be Anxious
If you’re nervous, don’t know what to say, or aren’t ready for a face-to-face conversation, that’s okay. Many of us start out sharing about mental health over a messenger service. You can share with people on your favorite social media accounts as well – but it’s always a good idea to restrict the audience to people who can offer you support and help.
Decide What You Want Out of the Conversation
It’s important to go into a conversation knowing what you hope to get out of it. That “want” can be vague or it can be very specific. In either case, it’s a good idea to have some idea of what you’re aiming for, so you have some way of steering the conversation. That might look like:
- I want to share how I feel because I feel alone
- I want support from people I care about
- I want to get help and to feel better
- I feel lost and I don’t know what to do
It’s also always a good idea to start out conversations with this kind of framing. Doing so will give the person listening to you a better idea of what you want and where you’re coming from.
Starting the Conversation
Eventually, the most important step is just to start the conversation. That means planning to not have interruptions. It also means planning to be in a safe space. You should be home, somewhere you can relax, and somewhere you know you will be listened to. If starting is hard, try some of these sentences to see how they feel:
- “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but I’ve not been feeling myself lately”
- “For the past (x period) I’ve been feeling really down. I think I might be depressed. I’d like to talk about it”
- “I’m experiencing changes and I don’t like them” (Elaborate on changes, such as eating habits, weight gain or loss, sleeplessness or sleeping too much, restlessness, mood problems, etc. Feel free to list anything you feel)
- “Talking about this is difficult and I’d really appreciate some support/help/understanding from you”
- “I think I’d like to talk to a doctor or a therapist to see if they can help, can you help me”
If you’re struggling, it’s important to communicate that in as clear of a way as possible. However, it’s okay if you don’t have the words or don’t know how to describe how you feel. Mental health is complicated. You might be feeling a lot of things at once. You might be feeling nothing at all. Talking and sharing that something is not right is a good enough first step.
Following Up
Talking about your mental health is important. Following up with them, with your healthcare provider, and with yourself is equally as important. This should involve ending your initial talk with next steps. These can be tiny or big depending on how you feel and what you’re ready for.
- Let’s schedule time to talk once a week
- Let’s find a local support group where you can go to talk with others with similar issues
- Let’s schedule a doctor’s appointment
- Let’s schedule a doctor’s appointment and ask for a psychologist reference
- Let’s look into treatment for your existing issues if they’ve gotten worse
- It might be a good idea to change responsibilities and reduce stress
The important thing is that if you have a way to follow up, your talk goes somewhere. That can be as simple as calling someone a week later to discuss how you feel. It could also mean immediately getting up and calling the doctor’s office. You might have a good idea of what is wrong with your mental health. You might have no idea at all. It’s important to take steps that make sense for you, how you feel, and what you know about your healthy.
Once you start sharing, it’s a lot easier to get treatment. It might also be easier to change your daily habits to better accommodate your mental health. And, if you already have a diagnosis, sharing with a loved one can help you to take steps to get back into treatment following a relapse.